Lately, I’ve noticed that many of us are feeling tired—tired of the endless cycle of meeting new people, tired of trying to make connections, tired of attending events. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s perfectly fine to feel exhausted by it all.
I’ve always admired those of you who have the courage to keep showing up to these events, putting yourself out there again and again. But I also understand that not everyone can keep going at that pace. Personally, I didn’t push myself too hard in that area. I enjoyed organizing events or attending more casual social gatherings, but when it came to those that felt more “dating-focused,” I often held back.
Maybe, deep down, I wasn’t ready to open myself up for “judgment” as a potential partner. It’s tough to be in a room where no one shows interest in you, and while I know my worth is in God, it can still be a bit of a downer. The same goes for dating apps—I was overly cautious with who I swiped on, and because I filtered so much, conversations rarely got started.
But I realized it’s okay to go to these events simply to make friends, even if it doesn’t turn romantic. So if you’re feeling tired, it’s okay to step back. It doesn’t mean you’ve given up—it just means you’re taking care of yourself.
So, what else can you do during your time of singleness? Well, let me share a few things I found helpful.
Reframing Singleness as a Season of Growth
We’ve all heard it—“Singleness is a season of growth.” And honestly, when I first heard it, it sounded like something people just said because they didn’t know what else to say. But looking back now, I can appreciate why that advice exists.
During my single years, I used that time to seek God’s purpose for me. I began reading more books for personal growth, speaking with mentors, and getting involved in a spiritual community. These were habits that I’m so grateful for because they laid a strong foundation when I eventually started dating.
But beyond the spiritual growth, there are other practical things I wish I had worked on more during that time. Let’s talk about two of them—health and finances.
Health: Taking Baby Steps Toward a Balanced Lifestyle
When it comes to health, I’ll be honest—I love food. And that’s why I knew it wasn’t going to be a matter of suddenly cutting everything I enjoy out of my life. For me, it had to be about taking baby steps, making small changes here and there, and finding exercises that worked for my body and my schedule.
Health is a long-term journey, and it’s not something that changes overnight. But it’s incredibly important. When I started dating, I began to realize that good health wasn’t just about feeling better day-to-day. It also mattered because I wanted to be around for a long time for the person I was with. I didn’t want to risk shortening our time together because I neglected my health earlier in life.
Whether it’s exploring exercises you enjoy or finding a balanced diet that fits your lifestyle, take this time to experiment and create habits that can carry you through your future relationships. It’s not about drastic changes—it’s about sustainable steps toward a healthier you.
Finances and Career: Building Stability Now for Future Peace
Another thing I realized when I started dating was how much easier things could have been if I had spent more time focusing on my career and finances during my single years. Without a stable income and savings, dating, and especially moving toward marriage, can feel a lot more uncertain.
Taking the time now to think about where you want your career to go, what you’re passionate about, and how you can stabilize your finances will save you so much stress later. When you’re already navigating the complexities of a relationship—new emotions, communication, future planning—it’s helpful if career and finances aren’t another source of uncertainty.
The goal isn’t to have everything perfectly sorted before you start dating, but imagine how much smoother things can go if you’ve already laid that groundwork. Dates require money, and as you start thinking about housing, family, and your future together, financial stability becomes more crucial. So, if you haven’t thought about it yet, this season of singleness is a great time to start planning ahead.
Solo Dates and Self-Reflection: Learning to Enjoy Time Alone
One of the things I’m most thankful for is learning to enjoy my own company through solo dates. Spending time alone helped me reflect, introspect, and develop a deeper relationship with myself. Beyond just personal devotions, these solo dates gave me the space to process life and enjoy activities on my own.
This skill turned out to be invaluable when I started dating. Relationships come with new emotions—some you’ve never experienced before—and they can be overwhelming. For me, being able to reflect on those emotions, process them, and then communicate them healthily was a game changer. It prevented a lot of misunderstandings and helped me grow in emotional maturity.
If you’re single right now, I’d encourage you to practice spending time alone. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but learning to recharge and introspect is a powerful tool in any relationship.
You Don’t Have to Feel Alone
We know this journey of singleness can sometimes feel tiring and lonely. But remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re looking for a space to reflect, recharge, and connect with others who understand where you’re coming from, we’ve got something for you.
We’re hosting a special end-of-year collab event with Singles Community 2.0, and we’d love to have you join us. It’s called the **SC² Year-End Gathering**, and it’s going to be a time of extended worship, sharing, meaningful discussions, and a panel Q&A with married couples who’ll be sharing their insights. We’ll wrap it all up with a fellowship dinner where you can meet and connect with others in the same season of life.
Here are the details:
- Event name: SC² Year-End Gathering
- Date: 23 Nov
- Time: 3pm - 7pm (dinner included)
- Early bird fee: $10 (ends 31 Oct)
Sign up here: https://www.sacredcompanionsg.com/event-details/sc-year-end-gathering-singles-community-2-0-x-sacred-companion-sg
We hope to see you there. Let’s end the year together in community, reflecting on all that God has done, and preparing our hearts for what’s to come. You’re not alone in this.
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