Jaded About Love: Is Marriage Even Worth It?

Feb 133 min read

Tomorrow is the day—Valentine’s Day. For many singles, it’s bittersweet—filled with either hope or exhaustion from unmet desires. I’ve lived it—trying, hoping, and hitting dead ends. Wondering, Is marriage even worth it? Wanting love but questioning if it was about more than romance.

When Singleness Hardens Into Cynicism

Singleness is hard. And cynicism creeps in fast. At events I’ve hosted, I’ve seen people disengage when no one catches their eye—fellowship reduced to a transaction. But cynicism steals more than opportunities—it steals community. The search is exhausting, but the journey shapes us. Is our posture glorifying God in the search... or do we only seek to glorify Him after we find someone?

God’s Timing: The Lesson I Didn’t Want But Needed

I used to plead with God: Why is it taking so long? But on hindsight, His timing was perfect. I needed to unlearn my illusion of control—control I never had but always craved. Singleness stripped that illusion, teaching me surrender. And that tension—control vs. surrender—didn’t end when I entered a relationship. It’s a lifelong lesson until Christ returns.

My Relationship: It Didn’t Start with a Spark

For my partner and me, there wasn’t instant attraction. We grew closer in community. It was God who opened our eyes to see each other differently. That’s what started our relationship—not chemistry, but God’s providence. It reminded me that relationships aren’t always about 'the spark' but about His leading.

Dating: Not a Fairytale, but a Mirror

Dating isn’t just butterflies—it’s a mirror. A best friend to share joy and sorrow with, but also someone who confronts your selfishness and impatience. It's where grace, repentance, and growth collide.

The Cost of Relationships—And What Truly Matters

Relationships cost time and focus. I'm human - there are definitely times when I drifted from God in the excitement of love. I thank God for the Holy Spirit's gentle prompting - Does my relationship draw me closer to God? God wants what is best for me—and that is to delight in His presence. If a relationship takes me further away from Him, it's not going to end well.

Reframing Marriage: It’s About God, Not Us

Marriage isn’t the goal—glorifying God is. Scripture (Ephesians 5:22-25) shows marriage as a reflection of Christ and the Church—serving, sacrificing, and submitting out of love for God. Our relationship is a testimony to the world about the God we worship.

The Real Question: Will Marriage Help Me Glorify God More?

God created us to glorify Him (Isaiah 43:7) and make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20). The question isn’t “Is marriage worth it?” but “Will it help me live for God’s mission?”

My Testimony: Ministry Together, Joy Together

I once served joyfully alone. Now, I thank God for the joy of serving with my partner. Praying, planning, and pursuing His kingdom together isn’t about completion—it’s about enhancement of our shared calling.

So, Is Marriage Worth It?

The question isn't, “Is marriage worth it?” but “What do I want to do for God?” Marriage isn’t the prize—God is. But if He leads you to marriage, it won’t be to complete you, but to equip you for His work.

So to the jaded: Feel weary, but don’t lose hope. Marriage may be a gift—but God remains the ultimate treasure. And His timing? Always perfect.

If tomorrow is a difficult day for you, may you find strength by leaning into God. Share your heart with Him and trust that He is working, even in the waiting. May we live to glorify Him every day.

Let us offer our heart of worship to Him - every breath, every decision. No matter the cost, we will worship and love you Lord.